Nippies® - an online magazine
NIPPIES Magazine Issue #29 - Summer 2006:

Infidelity and Signs of a Cheating Spouse

This issue of NIPPIES® magazine addresses the signs of a cheating husband or wife (or life partner!) as well as the pain of both physical and emotional infidelity.

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Do you suspect your partner of cheating?

NIPPIES explores the world of cheaters.

What are some signs that indicate your spouse is cheating on you?

  • Suddenly grooming improves
  • Sex life changes: new techniques, etc.
  • Change in style of clothing
  • Suddenly keeps cell phone turned off
  • Takes longer than usual running errands
  • Scratches, bruises, marks on body
  • Deletes caller ID history
  • Spends money on new clothes, jewelry
  • You are now boring
  • Less interest in the kids, home activities
  • Works later than usual, stays later other places
  • Needs more time alone
  • Picks fights without cause
  • Suddenly your marriage "was never any good"
  • You just feel it in your bones...something's wrong
  • You catch him/her without wedding ring on
  • Pays less or little attention to you
  • Hides money, stashes money
  • Is stealthily taking steps toward independence
    Establishes separate telephone, bank accounts
    New friends apart from those you know
    Replaces you with others in various ways
  • Strange calls that hang up if you answer
  • Blocked calls appear on Caller ID
  • Traces of lipstick, cologne, perfum - not yours
  • New phone numbers or addresses
  • You find condoms, KY® products, etc.
  • Goes on the computer while you are sleeping
  • Uses a prepaid calling card
  • Uses personal cell phone instead of home phone
  • Hangs up suddenly when you enter room, office, etc.
  • Unexplained withdraws from the bank
  • Gets defensive if you mention infidelity
  • Misses family functions
  • Disappears for extended periods of time
  • Missing underwear from the laundry
  • Locked areas where and you don't have keys
  • Tells you they just need "a little space"
  • Accuses you of being controlling, jealous, power-hungry, etc.
  • Faults you've always had are suddenly intolerable

The PAIN caused by infidelity...

EDITORS NOTE: For the sake of brevity, NIPPIES Magazine will refer to the wronged partner as "husband" or "wife". However, we at NIPPIES do understand that the pain any partner feels when a trust is betrayed is excruciating regardless of marital status (or lack thereof) or sexual orientation. Thank you.

We at NIPPIES believe there is no greater emotional pain than the pain one feels upon discovering that his or her spouse has been unfaithful. And we are not only speaking of physical infidelity here, dear NIPPIES readers. The pain a husband or wife feels upon discovering emotional infidelity is also very real: phone calls that a partner does not know about; dinners or lunchdates shared with another, intimate e-mails, letters or notes secretly passed between a man and a woman...the pain a betrayed spouse or partner will feel upon discovery of these secret ventures is very real.

Often when a spouse is caught in emotional cheating, they will act enraged that they are being "checked up" on. They will nearly always deny their betrayal. They will belittle their partner and accuse them of being "jealous". Unfortunately, this tactic works all too often because the betrayed spouse has no hard evidence of physical infidelity. But again, emotional infidelity is infidelity just the same.

Are you guilty of emotional infidelity? We at NIPPIES urge you to go to this link before you read the rest of our article:

Cheaters will often rationalize their behavior. They will pick on their partner unmercifully. Sometimes they will make-up or magnify minor faults about their spouses to justify why they needed to have an affair. The guilty party will then often tell others about these faults so that they do not look like the bad guy when they finally do decide to walk out.

Sometimes marriages are very bad, and separation is justified. The other person is abusive in a major way, or cheats, or has some other unbearable behavior. But more often than not it's just easier to bail out when the going gets rough. Affairs, however, and emotional infidelity are NOT justified. It's only fair to leave a marriage first before you consider another relationship. Intimate relationships with others besides your spouse don't "just happen". You have to "open the door", so to speak, and allow that other person into your life.

There are always others - usually those who have gone through a divorce, who are ready and willing to encourage you to do the same. We at NIPPIES received a chain letter recently with a very popular verse entitled "People come into your life for a reason..." by an unknown author. At first it sounds rather inspirational, but much of it sounds like an anthem for self-centered folks. We were appalled at much of the sentiment in this verse:

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON...It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.

The, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. Sometimes they die. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. Your need has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON...It is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

We were especially appalled at the line "Your need has been answered, and now it is time to move on." What about the other person? Has their need been met? Or in this self-centered world, is it only ourselves we are to worry about?

Very few cheaters are actually caught having sex with their "lover" on video tape or with the naked eye. The first signs of cheating are often phone call records either on a cell phone or landline phone. The really clever cheaters use phone cards, which are untraceable. Sometimes they invent a fake name, or even use a male name (for a female and vice versa) for the stored number in their cell phone. More likely they will NOT store the number, but will memorize it.

For the sake of brevity here, we will refer to the wronged partner as husband or wife. However, we at NIPPIES do understand that the pain any partner feels, married or not, when trust is betrayed is excruciating.

We will be discussing cheating spouses here for some time. In the meantime, if you have a story you want to share with NIPPIES visitors about YOUR cheating spouse, please send it to NIPPIES:

Sometimes it helps to talk...

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Read articles from past Nippies On-line Magazine issues!

NIPPIES - August 22, 2002 - September 5, 2002: NIPPIES - Issue #1
NIPPIES - October 1, 2002 to September 6th, 2002: NIPPIES - Issue #2
NIPPIES - November 1 to October 3rd, 2002: NIPPIES - Issue #3
NIPPIES - December 11 to October 31st, 2002: NIPPIES - Issue #4
NIPPIES - January 2, 2003 to Dec. 12, 2002 : NIPPIES - Issue #5
NIPPIES - January 25th to January 3rd, 2003: NIPPIES - Issue #6
NIPPIES - February 2nd to January 23rd, 2003: MIPPIES - Issue #7
NIPPIES - March 10th to February 3rd, 2003: NIPPIES - Issue #8
NIPPIES - June 7th to March 11th, 2003: NIPPIES - Issue #9
NIPPIES - June 16th - July 15th, 2003: NIPPIES - Issue #10
NIPPIES - October 16th - August 13th, 2003: NIPPIES - Issue #11
NIPPIES - November 15th - October 18th, 2003: NIPPIES - Issue #12
NIPPIES - December 31st - November 21st, 2003: NIPPIES - Issue #13

NIPPIES - February 6th, - January 1st, 2004: NIPPIES - Issue #14 <
NIPPIES - March 3rd, - February 9th, 2004: NIPPIES - Issue #15
NIPPIES - May 13th, - March 5th, 2004: NIPPIES - Issue #16

NIPPIES - August 31st - May 13, 2004: NIPPIES - Issue #17
NIPPIES - September 9th - October 29th, 2004:NIPPIES - Issue #18
NIPPIES - October 31 - November 24, 2004:NIPPIES - Issue #19
NIPPIES - November 26 - December 30, 2004:NIPPIES - Issue #20
NIPPIES - January 1 - January 31, 2005:NIPPIES - Issue #21
NIPPIES - Feb. 28 - February 4, 2005:NIPPIES - Issue #22

NIPPIES - March 30 - March 1, 2005:NIPPIES - Issue #23
NIPPIES - April 30 - April 1, 2005:NIPPIES - Issue #24
NIPPIES - May 31 - May 1, 2005:NIPPIES - Issue #25
NIPPIES - Summer 2005:NIPPIES - Issue #26
NIPPIES - Fall 2005:NIPPIES - Issue #27
NIPPIES - Winter 2005 = 2006:NIPPIES - Issue #28
NIPPIES - Winter 2006:NIPPIES = Issue #30

Want to write to your U.S. Representative? NIPPIES recommends that you click here for addresses:

U.S. Representatives Addresses

Want to write to your U.S. Senator? suggests you click here for addresses:

U.S. Senate Addresses

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